Mom-ing it -

I'm a mom to a 9 week old baby boy! And let me tell you, my life is in a whirl wind of chaos right now lol! Did I mention my little boy has 3 older sisters? My house is full. Not just of kiddos but of love, happiness, chaos, and did I mention the attitude? I may have had 3 kids before my son, but it all feels new. It's like no matter how many kiddos you have, you start all over the moment those lines turn up on that test. My sons so different from my girls too so that's not helping. He's 9 weeks old today, crazy it's been so long, it feels like yesterday he was born.  I made a choice after having him to not have anymore. Although it is the right choice for me and my family, I'm struggling a little extra with the fact all his firsts will be my lasts. I keep wondering if one day when I'm old and gray if I'll forget these moments. That thought breaks my momma heart. Having a newborn no matter how many times you've had one gives you alllll the same anxieties. Is it me or do they get more intense the more you get? I had PPD with all my kids. With him though I haven't really. I've been very adamant to pay attention to the signs. Being a mom is hard, but in my opinion, it was harder before I became a momma. My kids give me reasons daily to wake up, they give me reasons to keep trying to change myself for the better. I've always been strong willed but not momma strong. Before kids I really didn't care about life where I'd go or where I'd be. But the moment that test showed positive my whole life changed. Not saying I've been a perfect mother. Because far from it. I've made mistakes, I've not been the best I could be, I've learned by trial and error for sure. But I have and always will be there for my babies. Do I wish I could go back and change my mistakes, 100%. Do I wish I could undo some of the decisions I made ABSOLUTELY. But I can't, and all I can do is continue to do better and be better. Keep looking forwards and not backwards.
feel free to leave a comment telling your story, leave a vent about your day, or even about your past. We also love poetry here! Anything and All is welcome and there is no judgement here! Thank you for listening to my vent. ❤️